Nothing beats the moment when you walk into a parent-teacher conference, fully braced for a laundry list of concerns, only to be met with glowing praise about your child’s behavior. Or maybe you’re at the grocery store, juggling your shopping basket, and a stranger stops you in your tracks to comment on how polite and kind your kids are. Those moments are pure gold, aren’t they?
Now, you might be wondering, how can you create this positive environment? How do you foster well-mannered, well-behaved kids? According to Amanda, a board-certified behavioral analyst who shares insights on TikTok under the handle @bcba_amanda, achieving this goal is more attainable than you think. It’s all about how you engage with and treat your children.
Amanda emphasized a few key practices that parents of well-behaved kids are likely to adopt. Here’s a closer look:
First and foremost, they listen to their children—like, really listen. We’re talking full-on, undivided attention here. No texting, no half-hearted nods while you daydream about your to-do list. Amanda puts it in plain terms: how can you expect your kids to put down their devices when you can’t seem to do the same? Giving them your complete focus shows them they are valued, fostering a connection that makes it easier for them to share their thoughts and feelings openly.
Next, let’s discuss validating emotions. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with your child’s every sentiment, but acknowledging what they’re feeling is crucial. A simple, sincere statement like, “I hear you; it looks like you’re upset,” can go a long way. Kids need to know that their feelings matter, that being sad or frustrated is okay, and that you’re there for them. This empathy builds a solid foundation of trust, making them feel safe to express themselves.
When it comes to setting boundaries, parents play a vital role. Amanda points out that well-behaved children often come from households where parents take charge and are consistent with their expectations. You can’t let your kids run the show—firmness and clarity about rules help them navigate what’s acceptable. “They say what they mean and mean what they say,” Amanda explains. This is essential; if you show your kids what it looks like to be respectful and structured, they’ll mirror those behaviors back to you.
However, it’s important to address the reality of parenting. One comment on Amanda’s post struck a chord. A parent shared, “I do all these things, but my son can still be a nightmare at times. It’s important for moms to know that even doing your best doesn’t guarantee perfect behavior.” Amanda responded with understanding, acknowledging that no one is perfect; children are still kids, after all. There will be tough days, and that’s okay. Parenting is a journey of ups and downs, and the key is to keep striving, celebrating the efforts both you and your kids are making.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or questioning your parenting methods, take a deep breath and remember—you’re not alone. It’s all about progress, not perfection. Keep up the hard work, remain proud of the incredible little humans you’re raising, and know that every effort you make matters.
Image Source: NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock
