The holiday season is a time filled with joy, family bonding, and togetherness, especially when a new baby is part of the festivities. However, for parents experiencing their first holiday with a newborn, the potential for germs and illness can transform cheerful gatherings into anxiety-ridden events. With an uptick in RSV, flu, and other viruses, it’s essential to approach visits thoughtfully and with consideration for the parents’ wishes.
It’s understandable that you care deeply for the new family and wish them the best. Yet, when a newborn is present, it’s crucial to take extra precautions—particularly during the winter months when cold and flu viruses are rampant.
Supporting New Parents While Ensuring Baby’s Safety
1. Get vaccinated
If you haven’t done so already, getting vaccinated against Covid, flu, RSV, and Tdap (if you’re a grandparent or caregiver frequently in contact with the baby) is the most effective safeguard against transmitting illness to newborns. Since infants can only receive the flu shot after they reach six months of age (and Covid vaccines are available beginning at six months), your vaccination will create a protective buffer that the parents will undoubtedly appreciate.
Keep in mind that you won’t be considered fully vaccinated against Covid or flu until two weeks post your final dose. Therefore, scheduling your appointment early can ensure you’re fully prepared when the holidays arrive.
2. Wash your hands
This is always critical but even more so now. The holidays coincide with peak cold and flu season, and newborns are especially vulnerable to illnesses since they typically haven’t received much vaccination yet, and their developing immune systems are just starting to react.
Given these considerations, parents are understandably anxious about germs. Show your awareness of their concerns by washing your hands proactively. A simple statement like, “Let me wash my hands before holding the baby,” demonstrates your understanding and commitment to their wishes, which may lead them to be more comfortable letting you share in time with the baby.
And here’s the hard truth: If you are feeling unwell, it’s best to stay home. While passing an illness to an adult can be serious, transmitting it to a newborn can be life-threatening.
3. Avoid kissing the baby
Pediatricians advise new parents to prevent others from kissing their newborns. Kissing can easily transmit illnesses to a baby—even if you’re not showing symptoms yet. The parents may feel uncomfortable bringing this up, as they don’t want to impose restrictions on you.
To ease their worries, take the initiative and say, “I promise not to kiss them.” If they do remind you at some point (and we understand, that baby is incredibly kissable!), try not to take offense; it’s not personal.
4. Honor the sleep schedule—yes, it’s genuinely important
The urge to abandon routines for the holidays can be strong. However, for parents of new babies, maintaining schedules is critical. New parents know that even a slight delay in naptime or bedtime can have cascading effects on their baby’s sleeping patterns—and their own well-being.
Support the new parents as they adhere to their baby’s routine. Rather than suggesting they “loosen up” or “make an exception just this once,” consider offering to help with their established routine. Whether it’s assisting with bath time or taking on a feeding, your support will make you a family hero.
5. Avoid commenting on breastfeeding choices
Feeding decisions are deeply personal. Whether a parent is breastfeeding, formula-feeding, or using both, trust that they are making the best choice for their family. It’s best to refrain from comments unless they are brought up by the parent. If they do open up, offer encouragement rather than criticism.
A few comments to avoid:
- “Why aren’t you breastfeeding?”
- “You’re not planning to breastfeed until they’re a toddler, are you?”
- “Are you sure the baby is getting enough to eat? They look small.”
Good comments to make (if they initiate the conversation):
- “My baby had colic too; we found this type of bottle really helped.”
- “Where would you feel most comfortable feeding? Here’s a cozy chair, or there’s room in my bedroom upstairs.”
6. Be prepared for last-minute changes
Unpredictability is the name of the game when it comes to babies. From feedings and diaper blowouts to sudden fussiness, things can change quickly—and moments will arise when the parents might regretfully realize they forgot the diaper bag.
It’s essential to recognize that new parents might be late, need to leave early, or take breaks during the event. Understand that this can be a stressful ordeal for them, and respond with patience and empathy. They will appreciate your consideration.
7. Think carefully about your gifts
We all love shopping for a new baby! That said, thoughtful choices can go a long way.
- Check their registry. If the baby was born recently, there’s a good chance items remain on the registry. This ensures that your gift will be both useful and needed.
- Size up. Many people are eager to gift baby clothes, but remember—everyone is excited. The baby may already have many outfits that have never been worn. Consider selecting clothing in a larger size so that the baby can grow into it.
- Ask. While surprises can be delightful, new parents may have tight budgets. Instead of choosing something that’s cute but not essential, reach out to see if there’s something specific they genuinely need.
- Think of the parents too. The baby might not know about gifts, but the parents do. Show them you care by choosing a present for them that they might not get for themselves, reminding them that they matter just as much (if not more) as the adorable little one.
8. Allow the new mother and baby some space
Some mothers thrive on the support and closeness of family, while others may feel overwhelmed and need some quiet time. If you observe that the new mom and her baby are taking a moment away from the group, it’s thoughtful to check on them, but then give them the room they may require.
The new mom may simply need a brief respite or may be trying to shield her baby from noise and stimulation. They’ll return when ready, renewed and eager to engage once again.
9. Offer help, but don’t overwhelm
While the urge to pitch in and offer to hold the baby or help with tasks is strong, keep in mind that new parents might not be prepared for added assistance or disruptions. Respect their space and provide help only when it’s appropriate. Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” be specific, offering phrases like, “I’d love to pick up groceries for you” or “Can I help with folding laundry?” This allows them to accept your help without feeling overwhelmed and gives them agency in their daily routines.
10. Keep her in mind
A good friend of mine spent her first Christmas as a mother at her in-laws. While she enjoyed herself, after stepping away to nurse, she returned to find nearly all the presents had been opened without her.
While it’s understandable to want to keep things moving and avoid cold dishes, don’t forget that new moms can feel overlooked. Make a conscious effort to include her by waiting a few extra minutes to allow her time to participate in as many festivities as possible. Ask her questions that pertain to her, rather than just the baby.
Image Source: Anna Kraynova / Shutterstock
