Having a supportive community, or “village,” is essential, especially for new parents navigating the challenges of motherhood. You’ve likely felt the weight of this responsibility, whether you have an engaged group of friends and family around you or felt the isolation that can come from being “village-less.” If you’ve ever found yourself overwhelmed, it’s a sentiment that many moms share. As one expecting mother pointed out, while everyone yearns for a network, it seems like few are willing to step up and be that supportive friend or neighbor.
Rachel Lovely gained attention when she shared her insights on TikTok about the importance of cultivating a village, drawing from her own mother’s remarkable ability to foster community connections. She humorously remarked, “My mom doesn’t just build villages. She builds a bustling metropolis.” This metaphor perfectly encapsulates the essence of community—an intricate web of support that goes beyond mere acquaintance.
One critical aspect Rachel highlights is that building a village is not a transactional relationship. Her mom, the ultimate villager, extends kindness and help not with the expectation of having something returned in kind. Instead, she does it simply out of genuine care. “One common pitfall when trying to create a village is the tendency to keep score,” Rachel explains. When we start tallying every favor or deed, the joy of community can quickly become overshadowed by feelings of obligation. This is a relatable observation for many of us who’ve felt the pressure to reciprocate favors, but Rachel reminds us that true connection operates on a different level.
Further, she emphasizes that her mother doesn’t approach community with a mindset of being used. “She’s never thinking to herself, ‘Oh, people will take advantage of me,’” Rachel says. This attitude of generosity fosters an environment where help is both given and received. It breeds trust and encourages everyone involved to rely on one another, creating a rich tapestry of support.
Accepting help, however, can be a challenge many of us face. There’s a deeply ingrained sense of pride in doing everything ourselves, but Rachel points out that to cultivate this village, we must be open to vulnerability. “There is a certain ego and pride that prevents us from forming communities,” she observes. It’s easy to think we should tough it out alone, but what we often forget is that admitting we need help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s about leaning on each other to build something greater.
And here’s a real kicker that Rachel mentions—if you want a village, you have to leave your house! Yes, we all know that sinking feeling. How many times have we cancelled plans because we’re too tired or just want to stay in? But the truth is, connection requires effort and presence. Attending gatherings, baby showers, or even community events gives us the opportunity to engage with others and reinforce those bonds. The village is not going to show up on your doorstep; you must make the effort to show up for them too.
Rachel’s mom organized a baby shower where community members—some of whom Rachel had never even met—came together to support her. She shared, “I have not bought a single thing for my baby. This is the biggest blessing.” That kind of generosity reflects the beautiful reciprocity that can exist within a thoughtful community. It’s about creating a foundation that, when the time comes for others in the village to need support, they too will find the same kindness it extends.
Rachel has taken her mother’s lesson to heart and is committed to being there for others as they have been for her. The response to her story in the comments section reflected how deeply resonant her words are—one commenter aptly said, “This is astoundingly beautiful and wise.” Many voiced an inspired urge to seek their own communities, realizing that connecting with one another can lead to an enriched, fulfilling life.
Building a village might sound daunting at first, especially when life gets busy and overwhelming, but the lasting benefits that come from community are immeasurable. When we help each other, we create a space where everyone thrives. So let’s extend the invitation; let’s be the villagers we hope to find and nurture a community that feels like home.
Image Source: PeopleImages.com – Yuri A / Shutterstock
