It’s a well-known fact that peak consumerism occurs during the winter holiday season. Who hasn’t found themselves pondering, at least once in December, whether they unwittingly nurtured a little Veruca Salt or Dudley Dursley? However, our children’s propensity to want, want, want doesn’t simply vanish after the holiday season, nor does it stop existing beyond the confines of their ever-expanding wish lists.
Even routine trips to the grocery store can elicit unexpected gift requests and tantrums when the response is “no.” But there is a silver lining (yes, we need that optimism): Experts assert that these situations — and the discussions that take place in more peaceful moments — provide valuable lessons that can reduce materialistic behavior.
While social media’s role in exacerbating consumerism is frequently discussed, one might recall childhood hits like “Skip It” that fueled desires to remain a Toys ‘R Us kid forever. The reality is, we are all vulnerable to consumerist strategies. That grocery store outing? Even your little one is likely to fall for some cleverly targeted marketing tactics. Elmo granola bars and Paw Patrol snacks, anyone? No? Well, congratulations, you’ve earned yourself a free toddler meltdown in the center of Target, complete with stares from other shoppers and worries that your child may never grasp the concept of valuing a dollar.
It may provide some comfort to know that your child’s response is developmentally appropriate (even if some bystanders don’t deem it socially acceptable).
“Developmentally, both younger children and teenagers tend to exhibit egocentrism, primarily focusing on themselves and presuming others are equally focused on them,” explains Dr. Jessica Kendorski, who chairs the School Psychology department at PCOM.
This may not be particularly reassuring, but it’s important to remember that our perspectives and habits evolve over time. Dr. Patrice Le Goy, a psychologist, notes that “children exhibit preferences for certain items that are initially more internal, evolving to more external influences as they mature,” adding that these external factors include family, peers, advertisements, celebrities, athletes, and influencers that a child or teenager admires.
12 Tips to Curb Consumerism in Kids
While it’s normal for children to nag for specific toys and brands, it’s impossible to control every aspect of their long-term worldviews. Nonetheless, as a parent, you wield some influence.
“The environment in which a child is raised and what they observe in the adults around them significantly impacts their behavior,” says Abbey Sangmeister, MS.Ed, LPC, ACS, of Evolving Whole.
Experts offer their insights on how to establish a healthy relationship with material goods and the finances required to buy them.
01. Discuss gratitude
Sangmeister advises that conversations about what you possess — and the reasons behind your gratitude — can commence from infancy. “Expressing gratitude can provide children with a broader perspective regarding consumerism,” she notes.
Engaging in discussions about the best part of their day (bud) and the worst part (thorn) teaches even the youngest kids the importance of recognizing the positive, even amidst disappointment.
02. Lead by example
Sangmeister encourages examining your shopping habits, including the emotional triggers behind them (Are you shopping while watching TV?). “Kids benefit from hearing parents articulate their decision-making processes when shopping, including reflections on past purchases, even if they’re consumer-driven,” she explains. “This also includes discussing any mistakes made in spending.”
Owning up to errors doesn’t equate to self-criticism — sharing lessons learned can guide your children in similar situations.
03. Establish and communicate values
Responding to a child’s request for a trendy makeup brand can be uncomfortable. Nonetheless, affirming and enforcing these decisions becomes simpler when anchored in clearly articulated values.
Le Goy suggests saying, “I understand that all your friends have those jeans, but our family tries to minimize the emphasis on belongings.” She adds, “Parents who prize experiences might further clarify: ‘For the cost of those jeans, we could create a memorable experience together. What if we did X instead?’”
“This approach prioritizes the value of shared time and memories over material consumption,” she emphasizes.
04. Implement a waiting period
You are likely aware of the drawbacks of impulse purchases. Sangmeister suggests instilling a waiting period for kids as well, aiding them in distinguishing between wants and needs. “For non-vital purchases, establish a rule of waiting X number of days before finalizing the purchase,” she recommends. “Delaying gratification is a vital skill.”
This waiting period may also assist kids in developing coping mechanisms and discovering joy and entertainment outside of shopping, which can deliver a quick dopamine boost.
05. Acknowledge and validate their feelings
You may have survived childhood without the complete American Girl Doll bedroom set, but remember, perspective is clearer in hindsight. Your child’s disappointment at your refusal to buy something is perfectly valid, as you might recall feeling similar when Felicity’s canopy bed was off limits.
“Recognizing that peer pressure is a genuine experience is important,” Le Goy states. “Don’t dismiss it by saying, ‘That’s not significant’ because that won’t alter the feeling. Sometimes, kids just want to feel acknowledged, even if they don’t get the item they desire.”
06. Age-gate social media platforms
Kendorski advises limiting children’s access to social media until they have a clearer understanding of ads and their nature. “This strategy can help minimize kids’ exposure to targeted advertisements and consumer-driven messaging,” she explains. “When children are not continuously bombarded with ‘must-have’ products, they are less likely to adopt materialistic values early.”
07. Teach digital financial literacy
Kendorski encourages educating children about algorithms and their functioning before granting them access to social media platforms. This knowledge is empowering.
“Explain to children that the algorithms of their preferred social media platforms are crafted to keep them engaged and to present ads and messaging that are specifically tailored for them,” Kendorski states. “Understanding the backend workings of social media enables children and adolescents to think critically and…pause before deciding whether to engage with or disregard content presented to them.”
Another recommendation? Kendorski encourages parents to talk about how influencers and businesses leverage social media for profit, including the use of affiliate links and sponsored posts to sway purchasing decisions.
08. Be truthful about financial limitations
Facing the inability to afford an item that your child desires can lead parents into a cycle of guilt. Nonetheless, Le Goy points out that this can serve as a valuable learning opportunity for children. She suggests saying, “Yes, that toy seems really fun, and I completely understand why you’d want it. However, we need to allocate our family budget to handle some urgent repairs around the house at the moment.”
09. Motivate kids to earn and manage their own money
Taking on extra chores and saving birthday, holiday, and allowance money can help children understand that “stuff” doesn’t magically appear. “They might come to see that opting for a specific brand may not justify the higher price, or they might choose to buy once they realize they can earn the money themselves,” Le Goy notes.
10Focus on experiences over material gifts
Think about celebrating achievements or important occasions, such as birthdays, with experiences rather than material goods.
“Fostering core memories and nurturing strong relationships holds greater value than simply acquiring items,” Sangmeister explains. Some of her preferred activities include cooking and baking together, engaging in crafts and DIY projects, cuddling, and having late-night dance parties.
11. Cultivate internal validation
As children grow older, external influences can significantly impact their consumer behavior. Establishing a foundation for internal validation from an early age can lessen the desire to compete with others.
“Redirect the emphasis towards what truly matters in life. Our existence isn’t defined by our possessions, but by our character and the relationships we build,” Sangmeister advises, adding, “The essence of life lies in who we are and the meaningful connections we share.”
12. Strive for balance
Parents may find joy in showering their children with gifts during holidays and birthdays. Experts affirm that it’s possible to continue this practice while raising a child who does not overly fixate on material possessions.
“There can indeed be balance if you approach it with a broad perspective rather than looking at isolated instances,” Sangmeister explains. “Some years you may spend more than others, so it’s vital to maintain open and honest discussions about this.”
Both Sangmeister and Le Goy advocate for offering kids choices. For example, Le Goy suggests saying, “‘You could opt for one significant gift and invite a friend over, or choose a smaller gift and we could go out for dinner with a few friends.’ This way, you empower them to determine what genuinely matters to them,” Le Goy says.
This approach helps them establish their long-term values while potentially minimizing immediate emotional upheaval. It’s a beneficial scenario for everyone.
Image Source: Studio Romantic / Shutterstock
